我們之間的距離：大學生情侶衝突因應策略與關係滿意之對偶研究

The Distance between Us: A Dyadic Analysis of Conflict Coping Strategies and Relationship Satisfaction among College Students in Romantic Relationships

本研究旨在探討大學生情侶知覺自身與對方所採取的衝突因應對關係滿意度造成的影響，並進一步探討關係滿意度高之情侶其衝突經驗內涵。研究方法採用先量後質的混合研究設計；研究一以67對大學生情侶作為研究對象，以「個人衝突因應策略量表」和「關係滿意度量表」為研究工具，再以階層線性迴歸模式（hierarchical linear modeling, HLM）進行行動者與伴侶相依模式（actor-partner interdependence model, APIM）之對偶分析，研究結果發現：1.男、女性採取「整合型」因應策略；或女性採取「謙讓型」之因應策略對關係滿意度具行動者與伴侶效果之正面影響；2.女性採取「支配型」因應策略具行動者與伴侶效果之負面影響。基於上述研究結果，研究二以關係滿意度高的2對情侶為研究對象（男、女皆為「整合型」，與男為「整合型」、女為「謙讓型」），透過半結構之深度訪談進行資料蒐集，再以敘事研究中「整體—內容」進行質性資料對偶分析，研究結果發現：1.即時的溝通與謙讓的態度有助於情侶間的正向溝通；2.衝突因應受過去經驗影響，但伴侶的正向態度可牽動另一方建設性的回應；3.衝突因應策略難以單一量表來評定，衝突因應亦受交往經驗的影響而呈現相互性與動態的變化。最後，針對研究結果分別對大學生情侶衝突的相關研究及諮商實務工作提出建議。

Intimate partnership violence or murder cases have never been rare in our society. Intimate relationship conflict is a crucial issue across the lifespan, even as early as early adulthood. According to Erikson’s theory of psychosocial development, early adulthood, including the college stage, is an essential period for individuals to learn how to establish loving relationships with others (Meacham & Santilli, 1982). Developing a healthy conflict-coping strategy while interacting with a partner can contribute to better mental well-being and intimate relationships (Kansky & Allen, 2018). The adoption of various conflict coping strategies is associated with the conflict experience in one’s family of origin, motives for romantic relationships, attachment styles, and romantic passion (David et al., 2019; Huang, 2010; Paquette et al., 2020; Reese-Weber & Marchand, 2002). Additionally, Chang and Luo (2007) reported managing conflict as a significant factor in the satisfaction of romantic relationships. More positive, integrated, or empathetic conflict coping strategies lead to higher relationship satisfaction and longer romantic relationships. More negative, aggressive, or withdrawal conflict coping strategies lead to a lack of security and stability and even lower relationship satisfaction (Burk & Seiffge-Krenke, 2015; Johnson et al., 2018; Perrone-McGovern et al., 2014; Shulman et al., 2006).
Given the critical period of the college stage in the development of intimacy and the vital impact of conflict coping strategies, it is worth focusing on college students' thoughts and experiences in romantic relationships simultaneously while encountering conflicts, especially bidirectional influence between partners. This study aimed to explore the impact of college students’own and their partners’conflict coping strategies on their perceived relationship satisfaction. The study adopted a two-phase mixed-method research design. Study 1 aimed to examine the impact of conflict coping strategies on relationship satisfaction among college students in romantic relationships from a dyadic perspective. It involved quantitative research, where data were collected from 67 dyads of college students in stable romantic relationships. The“Individual Conflict Coping Strategy Scale”and the“Relationship Satisfaction Scale”were used to collect quantitative data. Hierarchical linear modeling (HLM) was used to conduct the actor-partner interdependence model (APIM). The results of study 1 are as follows:
First, positive actor and partner effects of conflict coping strategies were found on participants’relationship satisfaction when the male or female partners used an“integrating”conflict coping strategy and the female partners used an“obliging”conflict coping strategy. Second, negative actor and partner effects of conflict coping strategies were found on participants’relationship satisfaction when the female partners used a“dominating”conflict coping strategy.
Based on the findings from study 1, study 2 involved qualitative research. It further invited two dyads of participants with high relationship satisfaction to explore their bidirectional experience in conflict coping strategies and relationship satisfaction through semi-structured and in-depth interviews. In one dyad, both partners used an“integrating”coping strategy; In the other dyad, the male partner used an“integrating”coping strategy while the female partner used an“obliging”strategy. A holistic-content analysis was utilized to analyze participants’qualitative narrative data. The results of study 2 are as follows:
First, an obliging attitude and immediate conflict communication contributed to positive communications between couples. According to the results of study 1, when the male or female partners used an“integrating”conflict coping strategy and the female partners used an“obliging”conflict coping strategy, there was no significant influence on the partner’s relationship satisfaction. However, different from study 1, study 2 further found the mutual influence of conflict and multiple meanings for people who used an“integrating”conflict coping strategy and an“obliging”conflict coping strategy. When confronting conflicts, two dyads of participants intended to avoid their strong emotions and negative words to demonstrate an obliging attitude. They avoid direct arguments to maintain trust and harmony in their romantic relationships. Viewed from two dimensions, focusing on one’s own needs and focusing on others’needs, people who use an“obliging”strategy tend to pay attention to others’needs and ignore their own needs to satisfy others (Rahim, 1983). Huang (2010) indicated that tolerance is a negative way of coping with conflicts between partners. The more partners adopt tolerant behavior, the lower their relationship satisfaction becomes. However, tolerant or obliging behavior aligns with the value of emphasizing harmony in relationships within Chinese culture, reflecting the characteristic of humility in Chinese society (Chan, 2013; Li & Hsiao, 2008). As one of the participants, Brian, mentioned that he was influenced by the belief of his family of origin, which is to“not make enemies with others.”Individuals may avoid intense conflicts when facing relationship conflicts. This approach not only alleviates negative emotions on both sides but also creates a chance for the couple to assess their importance to the other person. This suggests that individuals may attempt to suppress their internal emotions to demonstrate tolerance and possibly to reduce direct conflict. This behavior can enhance individuals’relationship satisfaction (Tsai & Liu, 2024), highlighting the unique significance of obliging actions within Chinese culture.
Second, although conflict coping was influenced by experience, the positive attitude of one partner could encourage the other partner’s constructive response. In two dyads of participants with high relationship satisfaction in this study, it is evident that all four participants possessed empathetic and kind personality traits. During their intimate conflicts, they were willing to consider their partner’s perspective and to try to understand their deeper feelings. They resolved their conflicts through rational and positive approaches. A partner’s personality traits significantly influence their choice of conflict coping strategies (Igbo et al., 2015). Additionally, individuals who view conflicts as opportunities to enhance the relationship are more likely to adopt constructive conflict resolution strategies, leading to higher relationship satisfaction (Hsiao et al., 2018; Rodrigues et al., 2019). In this study, the participants viewed conflict experiences from a positive perspective and possessed self-compassion traits that allowed them to treat themselves kindly. This enabled them to use functional coping styles, such as problem-solving, leading to higher relationship satisfaction (Tandler et al., 2021). The participants were also gradually influenced by their partners’positive attitudes, which led them to adopt constructive coping behaviors during conflicts, such as proactively expressing their thoughts, reflecting on their behaviors, and understanding their partner’s perspective.
Third, individual conflict coping strategy was influenced by experiences in romantic relationships that demonstrated mutual and dynamic changes. Attachment styles also influence how individuals cope with intimate conflicts (Paquette et al., 2020; Simpson, 1990). For instance, in this study, Betty, influenced by past experiences, lacked a sense of security in her intimate relationship and tended to use destructive behaviors like avoiding communication or responding passively to express her needs indirectly (Paquette et al., 2020), leading to Brian’s feelings of confusion. However, Brian was able to understand the insecurity underlying Betty’s emotions deeply and responded with acceptance and tolerance, which gradually transforms their interaction patterns. As noted by Sasaki (2023), partners who feel loved in an intimate relationship (like Brian) experience fewer negative emotions related to feeling ignored during conflicts, and this also helps to reduce the partner’s (Betty’s) passive behaviors.
In summary, this study selected couples with high relationship satisfaction who used either an“integrating”coping strategy or an“obliging”strategy based on quantitative results. It further explored participants’experiences and the nuances of conflict coping, revealing the bidirectional influence and transformation in their conflict processes within intimate relationships. This study addresses the limitations of previous quantitative research, which often focused on a single perspective of conflict coping styles and associations with relationship satisfaction. Additionally, the study suggests that it may be challenging to assess conflict coping with a single scale because of the dynamic nature of the interaction experiences between romantic partners.
Finally, recommendations for future research and implications for counseling practice were made based on the findings in the studies.