與他同行—在關係的涉入中撫慰生命的刻痕

Walk with Him/Her: Alleviate the Scars Through Involvement Relationship

2009 年夏天，新竹新埔山上舉行了一個特別的敘說團體。成員年紀從13歲到19 歲不等，出自三個家庭，包括：住在一起，但常不知道彼此狀態的三兄弟；時而吵嘴，但感情親密的一對兄妹，以及外型與內心高度反差，19 歲的團體大姊。成員皆來自於父親或母親被診斷為精神疾患的家庭，此外，沒有太多的共通點。加上，兄弟姊妹參加同一個團體，那些不便讓家人知道的經歷、內心感受遂難以在團體中有出口。以傳統的治療觀點來看，這應該是一個足以引發很多疑慮的團體組成。不過，「我們」本來就不是要「治療」「他們」，他們同意接受願意傾聽、理解他們的人陪伴、協助，但不需要被治療。「撫慰」或「抒解」或許更接近我們這兩位青少年教育工作者一路走來信仰，並且堅持在做的事。對許多我們所認識的處於台灣底邊社會，或被判定缺陷家庭中的孩子來說，我們相信那些因階級、經濟結構、道德偏見的磨難而在生命中所留下深淺不一的刻痕，唯有對於孩子的真正信任與關愛可以抒解，這就是我們所謂的「撫慰」。信任他們的對抗，他們的反叛，或甚至出走，都是奮力在被圍困的生命中突破往前的步伐。兩位作者藉由重新書寫2009 年夏天的這個團體，反映回觀我們的青少年教育工作，並對我們未來的工作路線提出進一步的思辨。

In the summer of 2009， we shared a marvelous journey in a narrative group in Hsinchu mountain with young friends whose parents had been diagnosed with mental illness. The composition of this group was unusual. Members' age ranged from 13 to 19 years old， and they were from three different families: three brothers who lived together but were rarely aware of each other; a cynical adolescent and his younger sister with whom he fought a lot， but were close as well; a manly yet delicate and considerate 19-year-old young girl who was always the big sister in the group. Except for the parent's mental condition， there was little similarity within the groups. In addition， with siblings in the group， various unspoken feelings were even harder to be shared. From a traditional treatment point of view， the composition of this group was controversial and doubtful. However， “we” never meant to “cure” “them”. They agreed to accept help and companionship from those who listened to them with sincerity and empathy， but not treatment. Instead of “treatment” or “therapy”， providing “relief” is more like what we have been doing in our educational practices for young people. For these youngsters who are living in what is considered to be the bottom of society， who come from what are so-called “defective” families， tribulations due to class， economic structure， and moral prejudice may somewhat scar them in the course of life， but we truly believe these scars can be relieved by trust and love. This is what we mean by “relief”. Through re-writing the stories of the group in the summer 2009， the authors reflect and invite readers to new prospects for adolescent educational practices.